Wednesday, January 30

Calculus Hell

Look how empty my January tab is.

Just a reflection on how boring my life has been recently. A life burdened by calculus. And this is not a blog that anyone really reads anyway, so I'm no way pressured to post anything.

I just bought a new Canon t4i recently, so I hope to start making films soon. The closest project so far is Malaysian night 2013, but I really want to make a short film. Something that is both pretty to behold and moving at the same time. Once I get back to Malaysia I'll probably work on that. Just need to get an idea going and a script done.

The awesome T4i

I should really use my talent for words towards something productive. I've written a few scripts before, so it shouldn't be too hard (I hope).

Whatever it is, I have to make it through this semester. Sigh.

Wednesday, January 16

Hear.


With all the commotion about the 'listen' video lately, I find it hard to be proud of (most) my fellow Malaysians and the mentality they have when it comes to handling issues. I know it's fun to tease, but there's a limit and we've gone way past that. I don't want to blog about my opinions, as I created this blog for fun and I wish it to remain controversy-free. But I will say this:

Bavani is not a hero.

And free opinion is overrated and overused.

Asides that I have two new poems on my poem website! They are: Listen and Dinner with Friends. Access the website through the link in the tab or the projects page.

One last thing: Even though world issues are important, we all have to remember to enjoy the little things in life as well.

Ta!

Saturday, January 12

Blank.


For the past week, I've been literally like this for every waking hour.

I'm tired, frustrated with some people I know, and sick of my introvert-ness.

Seriously, I can't stand crowds of people. Whenever I'm in a group, I get a headache.

But on the positive side, I did some poems for creative writing and I was really happy with how they turned out. I posted some on this blog but as I didn't want them to be lost in the stream, I created a new blog for my poems! Check it out by clicking the face above, the link on the projects page, the tab link, or just in case you're just that damn lazy, here.

Thursday, January 10

Merdeka

Look at that old empty stadium,
where they once gathered and
watched with excitement,
as a tired warrior raised his right
hand into the air, and shouted
merdeka! Which spread across
an entire nation like a
thunderstorm during monsoon


but felt like silk to those
who waited for so long, sick
of laboring for the white man’s cause.
Who could blame them for wanting
what was rightfully theirs?
446 years we’ve waited,
they would yell in the streets,
with tears of glory rushing down their face.


They’ve been through hell, but
their persistence in adversity
inspired heroes, who marched
to the throne to tell the white man
enough is enough. They have
gone now, to make way for you,
the proud man, who sits cross-legged
and declares out loud:


“We’re brilliant! We achieved it
all without bloodshed!” Yet you’re
a fool to think merdeka would
last forever, and not someday
be a lose rock on a cliff
you’re so desperately clinging on to.
By then they’ll be scolding you
for being so proud of something


you did nothing to achieve.
But for now enjoy merdeka while it
lasts, as you’ve been free for
55 years now, which is 5 more than
you teach your children to count to
before shipping them off to school,
where you expect them to
become brilliant by learning


to fill in the blanks with the
nonsense you stuff in their heads.  
But you have no time for caring, do you?
You’re too busy fighting
yourself in frantic courtrooms
and busy streets, and
Lining the tar roads with yellow shirts,
expecting that to make a change.


But change is drumming
over the horizon and lest
you hold on tight, you will fall
down to the earth,
and the whole world
will watch the proud man, clawing
at his ancestor’s grave, begging
for merdeka again


while the fire burns him away.


by Arsyad Azrai

Inspired by "Postcards to Columbus" by Sherman Alexis

Wednesday, January 9

The Sweetness


We search for the sweetness in between the
thorns of romance,
Where hope grows like moss, and with the
rhythm we dance

to a beat we do not know, a song we
do not recognize,
Till our hearts stop beating, and tears
fall from our eyes.

We search for the sweetness in the dark
without a light,
Yet still expect it to appear, as clear,
and as bright

as the many days we waste away, staring
at the skies,
Hoping for the clouds to fall and wash
away the lies.

But we never search for the sweetness where
it waits untouched,
A place that exists and thrives, deep
In our hearts

where we only dream of fairy tales, and
wish for love,
But not notice the little hole wherein
sweetness curls                                                                                                                                                

For sweetness does not only exist in the
Kiss of lover,
It waits in acts of kindness, in friendships
That last forever

even when the seas are rough, and life
isn’t kind,
when you only have a line of thread, but a
mountain to climb. 

If only I could capture this sweetness in a bottle,
And not let go,
Then pour it into my writing, sit back, and watch
it unfold

Into a painting, a picture far too beautiful
to behold
of a place with silver moonlight and
rivers of gold.

But until I find a way I will continue to write
and explore
The rivers and valleys that I have gone
through before

as a small child with eyes that could only
see smiles,
Whenever his poems and stories went on
change lives.

One day I will find the sweetness, by fate
or by chance,
and sing it to the world, but ‘till then
I’ll dance

to a beat I do not know, a song I
do not recognize,
Till my heart stops beating, and tears
fall from my eyes.



by Arsyad Azrai