Mr Music Man

"He sees himself at a witches’ sabbath, in the midst of a hideous gathering of shades, sorcerers and monsters of every kind who have come together for his funeral. Strange sounds, groans, outbursts of laughter; distant shouts which seem to be answered by more shouts. The beloved melody appears once more, but has now lost its noble and shy character; it is now no more than a vulgar dance tune, trivial and grotesque: it is she who is coming to the sabbath... Roar of delight at her arrival... She joins the diabolical orgy... The funeral knell tolls, burlesque parody of the Dies irae, the dance of the witches. The dance of the witches combined with the Dies irae."

An excerpt from an analysis of Berlioz's "Symphony fantastique mvmt. 5" for the final music exam.

Yes you read that right. Diabolical orgy. Honestly, it's the last place I would expect to find the word orgy.

As you would imagine, I didn't understand what in the world I was reading, and, instead of pushing on to achieve success, I just flung my notes aside and threw my fate into the wind.

The exam itself was epic. I don't think I did well, mind you, but it was epic nonetheless.

Exams are the only time that the music class is full. Nobody really goes to the lectures; I myself haven't been to any music lecture in 3 months. When all the students were in and ready for the test, the professor smiled and said

"To most of you, welcome to Music 005."

It hurt, but damn right I laughed.

The questions were the usual mix of easy and hard, but the bonus question made my day.

It's a listening test, so what you do is listen to an excerpt and answer the appropriate question. The bonus question was:

Who wrote this piece?

a) John Cage
b) Somebody I can't remember
c) Somebody I don't know
d) Some Russian Guy

Okay, I can only remember the first name.

Everybody waited for the music to play, literally at the edge of their seats.

Total silence.

At first I thought it was a technical error, but then the professor just said there and watched the bewildered faces.

Suddenly, I realized the trick question.

It's John Cage's 4'33''.

Just wait for the bass to drop

Which is one of the most arse-faced moves in the history of music. The silence is the song. Imagine paying top money to see your favorite artist just sit there and not do anything.

The only reason I knew this piece is because YouTube had a tribute to John Cage after his recent passing.

No offence to the guy but it's the most I've ever benefited from someone's death.

Mr Cage.

After two sessions of silence the professor told everyone to hand in their papers, much to the dismay of many who waited for something to play.

Sure, the exam sucked. But my day was still made :)